Getting Back to the Gym-- Through the Eyes of a Personal Trainer
Guest Blog by 4TFM instructor, Felecia Thurman
3 months after having my second child…
I remember one particular day I walked into a fitness class at a local YMCA. I was a mess. I was wearing workout clothes I hated. A ratty t-shirt, cotton capris dawning a toddler hand print of yogurt, mismatched socks, and a sports bra with enough padding so that if I leaked milk, it wouldn’t show. My greasy hair was barely in a bun. I avoided looking at myself in the mirror covered walls.
That woman I saw in the mirror wasn’t put together. It wasn’t the personal trainer I saw a year prior with the hair perfectly sporty and cute, with coordinated workout clothes from a catalog.
Fe feeling “sporty and cute”
BUT! I was at the gym. I was at the place that feels like a second home. Where I feel comfortable…Or usually do. Those early postpartum days in the gym were a battle in my head to do what I needed for my body, even though I wanted to push way beyond my limits. I don’t know if I wanted to impress myself, or those around me. I quickly remembered, “change the script” and to talk to myself as I would one of my clients or class participants. I would never talk down to them. I would never ask them to push past what was safe. I would never tell them to ignore that pain or discomfort in a body that felt “off” and keep going. So why in the world would I treat myself any different?
My heart is always heavy for the mama getting down on herself after realizing she isn’t invincible. When she feels she can’t “bounce back” the way she expects. I’ve been there. I’ve trained those who are there. I want to talk to you, while sharing my experience on both sides.
Felecia - Post Triathlon
So this is for the person getting back to the gym after a baby, or time off, or for the first time…What we, the trainers and instructors see in you when you walk into our classes…
GYMTIMIDATION.
According to google that is a word. A survey done by Isopure showed that nearly 50% of Americans experience this in some form. The intimidation of working out with others, with someone in “better shape”, or the opposite sex. I think it can even come from just not knowing where certain equipment is and looking or feeling lost. I don’t know about you, but I despise looking “NEW HERE!”.
Even working in a gym, I have felt this. One of my favorite jobs I held in a gym was helping members get through this. I got to sit down with new members, listen to their goals, and walk them through the facility and show them every piece of equipment they wanted me to so that when they came in, they had a sense of familiarity and confidence. It made me see truly how many individuals struggle with just walking through the doors of the gym. The saying “putting your shoes on and getting there is the hardest part” is so often true. As a trainer, I absolutely loved when a participant or member would ask me how to use equipment, or if they were doing something correctly. It made me so proud for them that they were working so hard to care for themselves.
If your gym offers any sort of orientation, take advantage of it. Not only will you know your way around, you will get to know a staff person and friendly face when you walk in the doors. Ask questions. They are there for you. You are there (at the gym) for you. You aren’t there for them. If you don’t feel that at your gym, find a new one.
MODIFICATION.
So often I hear people say having to modify makes them feel weak, or “girly” (“girl” pushups, anyone?!). First, let’s remove the latter from our vocabulary.
Here’s my definition for modification the gym: Altering a movement or weight load based on the ability to hold proper form and safety of the muscles and joints.
Sound better?!
I LOVE modifications. If you cannot complete a move with proper form, you HAVE to modify it some way! If you keep doing a move incorrectly or without full range of motion, you CANNOT progress. Modification gives you the means to progress. It builds the bridge.
There you are, in bootcamp class and the instructor gives you an exercise. They show the move, give the modification and the progression for those able to kick it up a notch. Maybe you are in tune with your body, and know exactly where to start. Maybe that progression move looks really cool and “BootCamp Betty” is next to you running circles around the instructor so you want to take it on. Maybe it all looks hard and the modification looks daunting. Are they all looking at you, seeing you “fail”? Most likely, NOPE.
When you came to the gym, you came for yourself. You put on your high waisted leggings, loaded your kids into the car, put them in the babysitting, reminded yourself to drink more water, and got moving. You didn’t come to look at everyone else and compare. NEITHER DID THEY. Even “Bootcamp Betty”. Even the instructor. As instructors we are cheering you on from wherever you are at, and wherever you need to be. Wall push ups, AWSOME. Do them well. Full burpee, AWESOME. Do them well.
Felecia and her new personal trainer. He is pretty tough.
Furthering my Education.
After having both my children, there was a lot about my postpartum body that I needed to learn. I studied and I searched so I could do better, for myself and others. I saw the gap in postpartum care when it came to exercise. As someone who gains my energy and stress relief from a good workout, I needed to be able to keep working hard in the gym. At the same time, I was learning my limits. I was learning my modifications to build my bridge to my next level. If someone like me, in the fitness industry was struggling with it, I knew others had to be as well.
I struggled with the pressure I put on myself to be at a certain level because I was a trainer.
When I headed back into the gym I received (harmful but innocent and ignorant) comments like “you have bounced back so well”, “you have lost all your weight”, “you are so motivated to get here”.
BOUNCE BACK?! Did I miss the part of new motherhood that provides me with a spring board of momentum to break through the sleepless months, body aches, and my insides returning to their original state and return to someone else’s normal?! Whatever they saw on the outside was nothing to what I was feeling on the inside. I wasn’t bouncing anywhere… Except in my sports bra near feeding time.
Lost all your weight? A baby, fluids, and placenta weigh a decent amount. I’m just over here trying to gain strength in life. Thanks.
Motivated? Well, yes! Motivated to have a moment to myself.
Thank goodness, I also received comments of “take it slow and ease back in”, “get back to teaching when you are ready”, and “it’s ok to take an extra break”.
Wherever you are at in your postpartum and fitness journey, reach out and find a community and gym space that will allow to you start where you need to. A place and people that will gently push you forward and cheer you on in your success, every little step of the way.
From Emily: Are you a fitness professional? I bet there are a number of readers who can relate to this post by Felecia. It’s tricky feeling, isn’t it? Like you are supposed to “look” a certain way as a personal trainer or group fitness instructor and are struggling with not fulfilling what you “think” the world should see. The cool thing about our struggles is that they really make us much more relatable to our clients. So, I want to encourage you to be open with how you are doing. Don’t feel that you have to be perfect. Be real. Be you. (okay- I will go and tell myself that very same thing!)
I hope you feel supported by your community that you work in. Here at 4TFM, we feel strongly that not only our clients but also our instructors are also supported and loved on. We talk about our “instructor family” because that is how we are at 4TFM. We are “real” with each other. We help each other bear up under the weight of our struggles. We are family and grateful for each other.
If you would like more information about becoming part of our instructor family, we would love to hear from you. Only Imperfect people need apply! LOL Check out our Instructor Zone page for more information. And remember, Your Weakness is also Your Strength!
Felecia Thurman holds a degree in exercise science as well as group fitness certifications to teach group spinning classes, TRX, and is a Livestrong coach. She is a certified personal trainer and owns her own business. Her passion is to help women understand and help heal their bodies so they can live the full life they want and have confidence and the tools to achieve their goals. Her christian faith has always been her compass in life, and her biggest passion in life is getting to deeply know individuals, their hearts, and what makes them tick. Felecia is certified to teach Postpartum Recovery® Fitness and Pelvic Floor, Core & More™.